What's in a Name?

As a professional:

My name is an important identification tool, of course. There is a reason that firms are named Rodriguez & Gimbert or Jami Lowry & Associates, etc. In the practice of law names are how clients recognize us and are therefore of the utmost importance. I’ve already begun building a reputation for myself in this community. People come in my office and ask for me – wait for it – by Name. DA’s from other counties call the partners at my firm and tell the partners “confine Rocio Hernandez to Brazos County – the prosecutors have had enough from her” ;)

Legal representation is a service and not a product. If you buy a brand new Honda, you know what you’re getting: A Honda is a Honda is a Honda. I would expect that the car itself won’t vary from one dealership to another. Instead I’d expect the price, warranty, servicing offered, etc. is what will make the difference. All that to say that in other businesses and individual’s name is less important. I assume firms like to have equal caliber attorneys throughout so they can sell the firm itself. But in a county with 130,000 people there are so few firms of 3 or more attorneys, so we market ourselves as individuals more than as a firm.

Now comes the caveat. If you’re that damn good at what you do, people will learn your new name. It might take some effort on my part to get everyone to connect Rocio Hernandez to Rocio Newname but I doubt it would prevent new clients from walking into the office looking for me, courts from appointing me to cases, attorneys from trembling in their boots when I walk in as opposing counsel ;)etc. A change of name would only affect my practice to a limited extent and probably only temporarily. I don’t doubt that a change of Buildings might have a greater effect than a name change…

That said, I still make an effort to make sure that I’m known by my first name in this community. Two things: One – I’m lucky enough to have a rare enough name that I can be identified based solely on my first name. (Thanks parents for naming me Rocio!) I don’t have any problem with telling clients “you can call me Rocio” or just introducing myself as Rocio (while handing them my card which includes my last name…). I can make the effort now to focus people in on my first name. Two – there is another attorney in town named Hernandez – a male who has been practicing law here a looong time. It’s probably better for me that people don’t associate me with Mr. Hernandez…

As a daughter, wife, mother:

I’m very proud to be a Hernandez. My parents and sisters are wonderful people and I loved sharing a name with them. But, Elisa and Susana now have beautiful new last names which they share with their New families. It doesn’t lessen our bond or make us any less of a family than we were before – of course. People come into my office and pay good money to have children’s names changed to dissociate them from a loser or associate them with a winner. They spend good money on issuing citations by publication and appointments of attorney ad litem to have children’s names changed to that of their new family. Obviously, to those people at least, name means a connection with the rest of the family.

Though the thought of changing my name – especially to something harder to pronounce than Hernandez – doesn’t particularly appeal to me, I do want to share a name with my new family when the time comes. The thought of having children named FirstName Lastname-Otherlastname doesn’t appeal to me. For how many generations can that feasibly continue? Would their children triple or quadruple hyphenate? I’d like to share a name with my husband. Perhaps we could change his and have Hernandez babies ;)

Proposed solution to this conundrum:

My family is Salvadoran. Following the tradition practiced by my family, my name would change from

Rocio Esmeralda Hernandez Larios

to

Rocio Esmeralda Newname Hernandez.

I’d lose my mom’s maiden name (Larios) but keep my own maiden name. How cool is that? It doesn’t change the fact that most people are just known by one last name but it’s an interesting way of doing things nonetheless. I just hope Rocio Newname Hernandez fits nicely on the business card J

Such a sweet sound...

I’ve heard many comforting, happy and exciting sounds in my life. Church music usually stirs some warm fuzzy feelings that remind me of when I first found God. Certain songs remind me of the special people I’ve connected with in various seasons of my life. But no sound has made my heart feel so full as it did when I heard Go To Sleep playing over a hospital intercom.

My sister Elisa had been in the hospital for countless hours. The drugs to induce labor did little to rush Antonio’s delivery along and the drugs for the pain offered Elisa little comfort. My family remained excited and restless as one lady after another in the maternity ward delivered a new baby into the world, but Elisa labored on. The doctors and nurses sensed our growing impatience as the hours passed and grew increasingly impatient with our constant questioning. After over a full day in the hospital and still no baby for us to behold, the hospital staff finally told us that they would be sure to let us know exactly when Elisa’s baby arrived by playing a song over the intercom. I don’t think anyone on the Hernandez or Klein side of the family heard more than two notes of Go To Sleep before the lullaby became inaudible through the sounds of packing up and rushing down the hall to meet the newest member of the family.

My nephews’ arrival marked both an end and a beginning.

Antonio’s arrival marked the end of a long period of waiting. My sisters were 28 and 29 when they had their first children. They finished college, had excellent jobs and found husbands that met their expectations before having their babies. I learned of both Susie and Elisa’s pregnancies immediately after they found out that they were expecting. Nine months doesn’t sound like much but nine months seemed to drag on and on and on as I waited for the arrival of my nephews! Susana delivered her babies, David and Richard, just *eight days* before Elisa delivered Antonio. To go through the same joy, excitement, and anticipation for two sisters in the same span of time was wonderful if not a bit overwhelming. It felt both like an eternity and like only a moment elapsed between seeing David and Richard for the first time and seeing Antonio for the first time.

I just wanted to see the babies with my own eyes. I wanted to count their fingers and toes. I wanted them to follow me with their eyes. I wanted to hear their little bitty sweet voices. Most of all I wanted a doctor to tell my sisters that they would be ok and that their babies would be ok. That moment had finally arrived.

David and Richard’s birth marked the beginning of an abundance of joy in my family. Elisa and I were thrilled to finally be Aunts. My parents were ecstatic about being grandparents. And in the first week Susie was already proving herself as a caring and intuitive mommy. It’s a good thing that babies are fragile when they are so new – as it means we can’t grab a baby out of another’s arms and instead have to patiently wait for our turn to hold, admire, marvel.

The first year has been amazing. Seeing my new little family members for the first time was such a beautiful experience that I know I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget the feeling of soft little fingers grabbing my hand, the gentle warmth of holding a baby in my arms, or the silkiness of baby hair as I brushed it for the first time.

So many moments that involve the babies are so vivid to me. I doubt I’ll soon forget the seriousness with which Antonio looked at me when we met for the first time, or the glow I felt when I first saw David’s dimpled squinty-eyed smile, or the excitement I felt holding Richard as I watched the presidential inauguration.

So much has happened since those moments. The boys went from eating milk, to formula, to cereal and now all kinds of food. They went from weighing 5-8 pounds to 10, 20, 25+. They went from saying only oooo to saying “mama” and “ball”. They went from complete immobility and sitting up to crawling, crawling up the stairs, and walking across a room. They never cease to amaze me. They never stop making my heart feel full. They always give me something to be excited about and to look forward to. I feel so blessed to have these three wonderful new people in my life.

Thanks

I’m so happy with the way things are going. My job is wonderful. I work 8-5. The work is interesting, challenging, and yet not overwhelming. I drive a few minutes down the road during my hour lunch break to eat and talk with Ryan. The legal assistants are becoming my friends since they are young ladies almost the same age as me. The attorneys praise me endlessly for my work and are always finding new opportunities for me to learn and grow as a lawyer.
I feel so blessed to have ended up working with such wonderful people and at a firm that strikes precisely the work/life balance I hoped for.

But, I really struggled with the decision of whether or not to take the February bar exam. I think if it wasn’t for a select group of family and friends I’d be doing something else with my life right now. Sometimes I just get tired, impatient, overwhelmed, doubt my abilities, etc. just like everyone else. But I got through the last slump and I am now so glad I decided to take that awful evil test.

I have such encouraging people around me. My sister Elisa reminded me that my identity is something apart from what occupation I choose, and helped me to actually consider other options and weigh them against practicing law. Ryan helped me believe in myself and reminded me that part of being me is being irrepressible. My dad put things into perspective by reminding me of how many people would give so much for an opportunity like the one I was presented with.

I’m in a good place in my life right now and I’m so thankful to the people who support and encourage me whether I lean on them a little or a lot. They made my current happiness possible.

Keeping it simple

I learned something about myself in the last couple of months.  I realized that little of my behavior is dictated by other people’s demands and expectations.  That’s not to say that I don’t value the opinions and suggestions of others or that I don’t heed the advice of those whose lives make their wisdom evident.  I guess really what I’ve become better at lately is knowing what I want and what I need and why I want and need what I want…and how much or how little I allow others to have a say in what happens to me.  The opinions and attitudes of those who love me – my parents, my sisters, my friends – matter to me and are always given consideration.  Their suggestions and admonitions are tokens of their love for me. I’m blessed to have friends and family who encourage me to be myself and to be Good.  My responsibility extends beyond that though – even my friends and family can’t know who I am or what I need the way I can and the way God can.  I want to be true to myself and I want to be devoted to my God.  I think if I get those two things right then all will be right with my little world and those who love me should have little to worry about. 

 

I still need to grow, learn, experience, etc. and I have little doubt that I will someday be wiser and greater than I am now.  But I’ve reached a stable point in my life again.  I feel pretty at ease…happy, even.  What is new and surprising to me lately is that I find myself looking to the future less and less.  I’m sure prior disappointments have affected my desire to make long-term plans… but there’s more to it than that.  I think I’m now more able than ever to appreciate the present.  It’s hard to explain how to be happy with the present and yet I find myself able to do it throughout most of the day.  The sun was shining today so I went and ran in the glorious warmth.  A job opportunity presented itself this week so I took it.  I had a couple of spare hours so I worked on a painting that has been a work in progress for far too long.  I was able to be still and listen to my Creator’s voice.  I feel that if every day I give my best to all that is important to me then the big picture will come together.